Hurt, Sad, Hopeful, Very proud

Dear My Babyluv,

Hows my baby doing? 

U hope ur doing well inside Babyluv..

It's been 3 days since we had a check with our OB.

I saw you Babyluv, and I'm very happy..

However, your condition has worsened..

The edema- the swelling has doubled, and the Pleural Effusion- the excess fluid they saw in your lungs before is now everywhere..

Especially your brain Babyluv..

As per the medical team, there is no hope... 

To hear that Babyluv, makes me want to die..  It was your father who was very strong for the both of us.. 

I couldn't answer all the questions of the doctor, and it was your father who answers for me..

In so glad he is there Babyluv, or I wouldn't be able to make it alone..

The amazing part Babyluv amongst all this is your very strong heartbeat...

The sonographer was so amazed with how strong you are Babyluv..

Babies in the same situation as you would have had gone by now..

But you are one very strong baby..

And I am very proud of you...

Your father and I are very very proud of you..

You are the sunshine amidst all these... 

In a month, we go back to the doctor and if your condition has not improved, we have to make a decision Babyluv..

This will be the most difficult decision we will ever do... 

And I fear that day..

Oh Babyluv, sometimes I wonder why all of these are happening to us..

I just wanted a simple and complete and normal family..

I've been wishing that for 3 years...

Our Lord is good.. And I'm sure he has plans for us..

We will never doubt his plans Babyluv...

Whatever the decision will be, please always remember that we love you very very very much.. 

I love you my Babyluv...

Love,

Your mother